New Year, new chapter, new soul
A Happy New Year indeed!
It is 2013, and my weight hit its lowest, a 110 pounds. Sharp.
It happened while I wasn't even paying attention, but that wasn't a good thing.
I been quite stressed and depressed for several weeks now. My relationship with 'the boyfriend' has been rocky since the end of last summer. That, with a side of low self esteem, and a splash of sour anger, simmered on low fire, and you get your serving of CrAzyyyy.
It finally took a toll on my mental health, I couldnt sleep without havin horrible excrutiating nightmares! Couldn't wake up without the remnants of ugly thoughts in my head, and a pain in my chest, and a voice in my ears tellin me to fix my broken heart very soon, or It will burst out of my chest cage.
You kno you can put years of love and dedication into something, and keep hoping for the best. Hope for restoring trust, hope for peace, for a clear sky above me.
Then, at one point, hope was slipping away, like sand from my fist.
Well lets say we are trying a new plan to put the worst behind us, and start a new chapter, with an old love to guide us.
Lets also say he has his ways, and I have my weaknesses, and ehh wut can u do really. You just take a leap, once again but on different grounds, and hope to God you can fly.
Okayyy, enough said about that, I have a weight loss plan, and a tanning plan, and a new goal weight!!!
Here it goes, from a success of reaching that 110, and with Ana by my side, slowly but surely: 107 pounds.
I think I will look pretty good at 107 once it really sinks in and I actually maintain it for a week.
I think I will feel alot better too. After all, hungry is strong, invincible, and who am I really?
"I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through..."
It is 2013, and my weight hit its lowest, a 110 pounds. Sharp.
It happened while I wasn't even paying attention, but that wasn't a good thing.
I been quite stressed and depressed for several weeks now. My relationship with 'the boyfriend' has been rocky since the end of last summer. That, with a side of low self esteem, and a splash of sour anger, simmered on low fire, and you get your serving of CrAzyyyy.
It finally took a toll on my mental health, I couldnt sleep without havin horrible excrutiating nightmares! Couldn't wake up without the remnants of ugly thoughts in my head, and a pain in my chest, and a voice in my ears tellin me to fix my broken heart very soon, or It will burst out of my chest cage.
You kno you can put years of love and dedication into something, and keep hoping for the best. Hope for restoring trust, hope for peace, for a clear sky above me.
Then, at one point, hope was slipping away, like sand from my fist.
Well lets say we are trying a new plan to put the worst behind us, and start a new chapter, with an old love to guide us.
Lets also say he has his ways, and I have my weaknesses, and ehh wut can u do really. You just take a leap, once again but on different grounds, and hope to God you can fly.
Okayyy, enough said about that, I have a weight loss plan, and a tanning plan, and a new goal weight!!!
Here it goes, from a success of reaching that 110, and with Ana by my side, slowly but surely: 107 pounds.
I think I will look pretty good at 107 once it really sinks in and I actually maintain it for a week.
I think I will feel alot better too. After all, hungry is strong, invincible, and who am I really?
"I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through..."
Tanning is good in winter as it does warm you up! Keep your chin up and reach for the stars!!
ReplyDeleteSweet of you, I will. Thanks for the comment. That quote I posted is from the book "Wintergirls" by Marya Hornbacher. An excellent book about Ana, highly recommended. Staystrong xoxo.
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